1/30/10
Hahahaha.
I read my blog posts from last year until now. They were just so interesting to read them, as if i was reading as a third-person even though i was the one who wrote all these. Like i was reading about someone's life, but in fact it was mine.
2009 was so exciting, i realised. So many things had happened, so many changes in my thoughts/emotions/attitudes. It was truly epic.
And i got myself to read
your messages (which i've kept until now) to relieve the past. At first i hesitated, but i decided that if i truly wanted myself to move on, i had to face it no matter how hard it takes.
It felt as though everything that happened half a year ago was, in fact, just yesterday. I observed myself getting happy about
us again, and then watched myself if i were to feel like rock-bottom again.
Nope, i didn't. Guessed i have really found the serenity in my heart this time round; they will just stay as happy memories from now onwards, nothing else.
All these are deliberate acts of checking myself emotionally, and i think i deserve a pass today (thankfully?).
Because this is what i needed most before i enter the next phase of my life.
(But i can't find myself doing self-encouragement like in the past. LOL. So i'll just end here)
=D
1/26/10
I have always told myself this:
That God has a plan for everything that happened last year. He won't let me live through all these shit for nothing.
But it will take patience to wait for the future realise the reason behind this though.
Up till then, i will continue waiting and believing.
1/19/10
Today i have learnt something:
That i am God's drummer. I play to worship and praise Him, not to gain the approval of men.
And i live for Christ as well, not for men.
Amen.
1/15/10
Sometimes i don't say anything, or i drop little hints here and there.
I just hoped that someone will pick these up and want to hear me talk about it.
Which is an epic fail most of the time, of course.
I guess people just don't understand me, except myself.
1/7/10
I just wanna go back to what i used to be doing, used to love previously.
Two completely different voices in my head are saying the same thing.
1/1/10
On the first day of 2009, i wrote:
"So I only pray that i can survive the whole year without getting really hurt. "
My reply today is: LOL!
Bye 2009.
It's been a year of roller-coaster rides but finally it's byebye to them, at least for now.
Hello 2010.
It's gonna be an exciting year of happenings as well.
Just that i can't bring myself to set any new resolutions this year. Don't want to disappoint myself again if i failed.
Live each day of 2010 to the fullest!
Bye to this blog as well. I probably won't be blogging anymore unless something really big happens.
Thanks to all readers thus far, you have been well-appreciated.
I didn't forget what i said when i locked this blog up though. Feel free to stay in touch with me as always, i'm available through other means too.
Blogging isn't and shouldn't be the only way where i open up anyway. Hahahaha =D
Good-bye.
