10/25/09
I used to think that i'm a very different person on the basketball court. Ever-ready to grab every single opportunity to score for the team, or preparing to fight for the rebounds even against taller opponents, or simply making assists to teammates.
The aggressive and confident side of me never fails to show up when i'm playing seriously.
That was when i love to fight for the things i want, because i really thirst for it. I will go all out to obtain them, though sometimes i can get rather irrational when i have to sacrifice other worthy things.
And when i finally got what i sought after, i'll treasure all that i have because i know they don't come by easily. I'll put in as much efforts into protecting them as i was fighting for them.
Losing things is, really, a big deal to me especially when they are not meant to be lost.
Then i suddenly realise, i'm no longer like that since a long time ago.
I just... want to sit back and relax, watching events unfolding right before me. Because something is telling me that "Hey, you can't do anything to salvage the situation. Just let it be."
The reason for the change? Is it for the better or for the worse? I have many doubts and possible explanations but i have no answers.
But i know, i want to get that competitive side of me back again. Not just for my A' Levels, not just for my scholarship, not just for getting into OCS.
But also for myself.I want to get back on track again, the old me before anything happened. I want to run faster and jump higher again, to score in life.
Losing is no longer an option right now. Win the mental game in the next two weeks... or watch yourself lose again.
I don't want that.
