6/11/08
It happened a long time ago. I knew about it, yet i chose to pretend to be ignorant. I decided not to think about it and leave it alone. I don't want to face it, for fear that it will lead to something disastrous, and i don't wish the whole thing to repeat again. In other words, i chose to run away from the problem.
Then i can feel that its getting serious. Maybe i pondered too much, but sometimes it seems that God is telling me to do something about it. I started to worry, yet at the same time i don't dare to face the problem. I'm scared something bad will happen to both sides. In the end, i chose to ignore it, again.
The final straw came. I could no longer leave it as it is. I HAVE to do something. It may be too late, or may not even be necessary at all, but i can feel God shouting out to me in the drizzle.
"Perhaps i've been thinking too much", thats what i had been telling myself. But still, i know that losing my pride is better than letting it get worse.
So i did it. Better late than never. If its true that i've been thinking too much, then take it as i'm feeling more confused and stressed than ever. But if what i thought about is for real, it may be an insignificant gesture to you, given all the unpleasantness and possibly pain, but i hope that you will understand that i sincerely felt that way.
I'm sorry.
