6/29/08
Missed church today due to SL stuff (again(again)). Was actually looking forward to church this week because i know i need to draw strength from His presence again. Broke down on saturday actually, luckily theres this great bunch of friends who never fail to cheer me up ;D
Next week is a crucial one. Exco selection, A level chinese oral, and the final few weeks of TOUCH Run registration. No time for any breaks i suppose, but i just want to pray that i can pull through. Don't want end up like that day again.
The mask is back.
6/28/08
Glad to see that our class is working well together once again. Conflicts aside, i can see the team dynamics is back among us again. Though there may be some unhappiness about doing this SL project, i'm happy to see that each of us gave his/her all to make this event a success.
Strive on!
Nothing much to blog about this few days actually. Guess my mind got turned off by SL already.
6/27/08
SL (again) from morning to night, literally.
The few of us went to attend the meet-the-people session this evening. It was really an eye-opener as we seek the MP's help in planning our event. There were many things we were amazed at and learnt, but i shall sum it up here:
It's a dog-eat-dog world outside.The adult world is very complicated. Everybody is busy fighting for their own survival and couldn't care less if our event do not allow them to benefit in someway. Even if our event do, they always look for biggest gains through their smallest sacrifices. Face it man, this is the harsh reality outside.
Having more contacts is a gem.With more people in your social circle, your life is made much more easier. It will be very convenient to gain access to all that you will need, given that your social circle is very wide. People from all walks of life is more than willing to help you. And widening your social circle is not enough, make efforts to build long-lasting relationships with them. They will come in handy at various points in your life, and you can trust that they will stand by you in times of difficulties.
Learning with an open heart.Our learning journey don't just top after we left school; it continues till the day you breathe your last. No one can be certain that they learnt just about everything in this world. Stay humble and like a sponge, take in as much knowledge as you can. Whenever you undertake something, treat it as a learning point and take in the water (the sponge, remember?).
Stay on the lookout for the simplest solutions to the hardest problems.Once, the Americans went up to space for scientific purposes. As they wanted to record down their findings in paper, they brought some pens along with them. Up in space, they realised that the pens cannot be used as there is no gravity. So they spent millions trying to come out with sophisticated equipment to produce some sort of gravity within the spaceship. In the end, the pens they brought finally can be used.
The Russians faced the same problem too. They solved it by just switching from using a pen to a pencil instead.
Identifying the root of the problems first.If you do not even know what exactly the problem is in the first place, then do not bother trying to solve it. Your mind will only be kept full of question marks without a doubt (no pun intended)
Having a good vision ahead is the key.Through exposure to several events and mistakes you made, and the experience you gained, you would had obtained the foresight to issues you will probably face. Anticipating the obstacles ahead is half the battle won, and with proper planning to avoid or reduce them, the victory will be yours.
Thanks once again to Mr Seng Han Thong (MP for Yio Chu Kang GRC) for providing us his precious advice and insights. And thank God for bringing our SL project back onto the right track again. Pray that everything will go on smoothly from now onwards.
6/25/08
Mid-year common tests started with a bang, and ended with a bigger bang. Omigosh i will really give thanks if i can get a B for math.
And yes, i'm starting to feel the disappointment and regret already. If time could turn back, i would gladly put in much more efforts in preparing for the tests. Yet, what seemed like a wholehearted promise to myself ended up broken instead.
One last chance: the promos. If i don't grab this last chance well....
6/24/08
Last day of mid-year common tests tomorrow. I'm not expecting good grades, considering how much i slacked over the holidays. Guess that tinge of disappointment and regrets will be haunting me soon.
Just want to vent my frustration here. Was having a debate with my mum over whether should i commit my time to both studies and activities like SL and council, or just spend all my time on studying. My stand is that there has to be a balance between both, else why would JC life be meaningful? Good grades don't matter that much anymore; a good-looking SGC is also worth chasing after. Yet she insists that i should just focus on my studies now, nothing else matter more. I stay firm in my stand though.
There's one more thing. She absolutely loves comparing me with my brother. She keep saying that my brother did nothing but studying during his JC days, and i should follow him. C'mon la, I don't studying in some elite school like hwachong; i don't get straight As; i don't have a place in university pursing double degrees. I always got outshined by him. That's fine with me anyway, but i just loathe it when she tries to compare me and him.
PLEASE, i'm just not as bright as him.
6/22/08
June holidays will be gone in another hour. How sad is that, especially when i did not fulfill my promise to myself.
Nevermind, the restart button is here again. Time to press it and make a fresh start!
Oh, forgot to add something. Learnt a new and meaningful quote today at church. Thanks to Rev George Ong!
"Opportunity of a lifetime must be seized today during the lifetime of an opportunity"
It reads: Make full use of opportunities coming your way and don't waste them by procrastinating. It is better to make a quick but timely decision today, than a perfect but late decision tomorrow.
My motto for the next part of the year: Make hay while the sun shines!
6/21/08
This post is to make up for what i wanted to blog about but ended up too tired to do so on thursday night. Was highly inspired that night, but SL decided to kill my interest in blogging what i thought about.
The swingThat night we walked all the way to the Mac's near AJ. While some of us went to have supper, few of us went to the swing. The swing is indeed fun, yet full of meaning as i told myself.
Life is like a swing. At the start you have to put in your best efforts to set the swing in motion. It may be tough, but God sees it all. He judges how much efforts you put in and decides how high you will swing to. It may take some time, but eventually you will start swinging even if you don't realise it. God
sees your efforts and
will carry you higher! So just do your best and let Him do the rest.
You may not swing as high as you wanted though. God determines your altitude because He has a great plan for every one of us. So if you are disappointed by your own altitude for now, worry not because its part of what He wanted, and He will carry you to
greater heights. Its only a matter of time that you will eventually see and experience what God has in store for you.
As you swing higher, you will probably fear and be scared. You fear falling off the swing and hurt yourself, and scared of what may happen to you. But it won't happen, just hold on to the swing tightly and you will not fall off it. In the same way, as you experience difficulties and obstacles, just
hold on to God
tight. He will gives you the security and courage you needed, and He will swing up higher together with you.
A little mistake you make may slow down or even stop your swing completely. But its ok! Just try again but make sure you give it your best shot too. God
will still carry you higher in the same way, just hold on tight!
The starThat night, i observed only one star above us. YC said he saw more, but thats the only obvious one i can see.
Likewise, God is like the only star in the sky we can see and observe. Though you want to see many more stars (your desires), God is the
only star you are sure that it is present. Those desires you seek may not be there, because they are just but a fallacy with no truth or existence. Only God is existent and we should put our minds on Him.
Sometimes clouds can hinder your sight of stars. Likewise, obstacles in your life make you think that God isn't there. Its not true! His presence is
everywhere, just that you can't see Him, thats all. So take comfort in the fact that God is always there, shining brightly for us!
Dear Monitor,
Hope you had a good time resting last night. I had to use my bro's laptop instead while you were away. Sorry to tell you this but i may have to replace you if you decide to go on strike again. So please do not disappoint me anymore.
Regards,
szewei.
Well i'm crapping. Last night i finally can have time to slack and blog, yet my monitor decided to fail me at this precious moment. Ended up borrowing my bro's laptop and went to sleep after checking my mail. Too tired after mugging and worrying for SL project for the entire day.
6/20/08
Sorry but i'm just way too tired to blog. Tired of everything.
6/18/08
Crap.
Supposed to finish 3/4 of Chem and leave 1/4 for tomorrow. It turned out the other way: I had only completed 1/4 of Chem and i TRY to finish the remaining 3/4 tomorrow. I'm king over the procasti people, aka king of procastiNATION (get it?)
Sometimes i wonder whether if the promise to myself and the prayer i prayed were even what i really wanted. With less than one week to go, i seriously doubt i can fulfill that promise of mine. The revolution i seek, the change i desire. Am i even serious when i told myself i will, no matter what, get what i wanted? Apparently no.
Went for bball today. I don't have much to say but, winning isn't everything. True, your pride is worth a lot. True, winning gives you that honour and satisfaction. But is it worth seeking that "win" at the expense of everything else? Your pride is not your life; you can live without it. You can earn that honour and satisfaction through other ways. Winning is not everything.
6/16/08
The library is muggers' heaven =o
Went library to study for the first time since light-years ago (i mean, Os are really quite long ago isn't it?) First time since i ever stayed in one for like 7 hours just to study? I miss those days man. Studying now just don't feel like studying in the past. So many things changed in a short span of 6months.
Then, we were just 16years old who were carefree and can't wait to remove that "children" label on us. Suddenly we were forced to enter the lives of 17years-to-be and to live like one. It wasn't a smooth transition. I believe we all still have trouble facing this cruel reality, still find it hard to adapt. Nevertheless, time waits for no man. We have to adapt even if we can't.
Thankfully, one thing will never change: God's there. He never fails to stay with us and see us through our lives. "I'm carried in everlasting arms. You'll never let me go through it all' - a song of praise to the Lord!
6/15/08
I happened to chance upon Belinda's blog recently. Read through her long post about love and got inspired deeply. And this thing called love has been making headlines among my friends, so i though i should write on it.
Love. What exactly is it? I believe most of us don't have the answer to this. Everybody has their own views of it and i'm no exception. In fact i learnt more about it through the hard way. That is, to actually try and experience it for myself, and ended up getting wounded real bad.
Shall not elaborate much on the past events but all i can say is, i'm grateful that i found the courage and embraced it because from this hard lesson i took, i learnt more about what this world revolves around, and particularly what love is about.
Love is essentially a
two-way relationship between two willing parties. I cannot emphasize this any further because this is the foundation of all love. Both parties have to accept this fact, else eventually it will lead to no good end. Just like a house, it has to be built on strong foundations. If only one party is willing to contribute one half of the relationship, the house will surely fall as it is supported by a weak base.
And like a house, the workers building it have to have synergy between them. Likewise, love requires mutual trust and respect, and the support given to each other. Both parties have to be
willing to give their best efforts. If its only one-sided, then don't bother thinking about it anymore. You know you can't work with that fellow worker, so you either have to compromise each other or quit, which i believe the latter is the better option. So until you found that worker who is willing and suitable to work with you, you should put off the idea of building that house for now.
And like a house, love has to be built up slowly, brick by brick. It takes time, but i believe the end-product is something both parties like to see most. Throughout the process, both parties have to
continually give their all (workers can't possibly slack halfway while building the house right?). This way, when earthquakes strike, the relationship stays firm and they can continue building the house until they reach the roof.
And like a house, love is a wonderful treasure. It cannot be completed in a day's work and a lot of hard work and efforts have to be put in. Therefore, its a precious product and the workers should
treasure it. Its something they can be proud of, because it is, after all, their very own creation.
As a follower of Christ, i believe in the fact that God provides, enough and timely. Of course, i do feel lonely at times wheni felt that someone is lacking in my life. But i'm willing to wait patiently for that someone, as i understand that when the time comes, God will be there to guide me to her. This is something i firmly believe in: God will bring me the right person when the time comes.
I once read somewhere that we should put our relationship with God as priority. Only then will all other relationships fall in place, smoothly and logically.
God provides, so don't worry.
This message goes out specially to all who are facing problems in love. Though i can't help much in solving your problems, i pray that after reading through this, you will understand God's ways and look to Him as a source of healing =)
PS: Isaiah 40:31 is the theme verse of PHS Basketball Team. It's been etched in my mind ever since i became part of the team. Church service today reminds me of this verse and i thought i would share it with you readers =)
I thought i would go MIA by latest Monday. My monitor is not exactly working as there is some problem turning it on. Supposedly i have to wait until i get a new adaptor. Thank God that it's working when i tried again just now, so that you can read another new post =D.
Had been mugging since this afternoon (finally?), though i wont say its productive. I merely read through my math notes and refresh my memory-that-is-getting-shorter. Still, at least i've taken the first step towards mugging preparations and i hope this can continue for another few weeks.
Oh btw, i usually blog after 12, so the date of the blog post may be wrong. As in i'm blogging about one day before the published date laaaa.
6/14/08
想笑来伪装掉下的眼泪
点点头承认自己会怕黑
我只求能借一点的时间来陪
你却连同情都不给
想哭来试探自己麻痹了没
全世界好像只有我疲惫
无所谓反正难过就敷衍走一回
但愿绝望和无奈远走高飞
天灰灰会不会
让我忘了你是谁
夜越黑梦违背
难追难回味
我的世界将被摧毁
也许事与愿违
累不累睡不睡
单影无人相依偎
夜越黑梦违背
有谁肯安慰
我的世界将被摧毁
也许颓废也是
也许颓废也是另一种美
周杰伦 - 世界末日
Just when i thought i will put together the jigsaw puzzle once again after much thinking and planning, it started falling apart without me realising. As i watch the pieces fall off one by one, i can't do anything but to look at the fallen pieces. Hopelessly.
Only in times of trouble do i remember my Lord. Can i change, for once and for all?
6/13/08
Black Friday indeed.
Can't turn on my monitor this morning. Then i went to two shops trying to get it fixed, and i even called those computer repair people for advice. Yet when my bro came back, this little square thingy decided to listen to him and turn itself on.
So i spent my afternoon running about and when i finally can take a break, i just go take a nap without thinking of mugging at all. What a waste of a fine day.
Never do anything on Friday the 13th, else you will just bump into bad luck -_-
6/11/08
Wow, i just happened to find out that my blog is now 1 month old!
I started this blog with only one purpose: That is to record down what happened each day and my thoughts on them, so that each time i check back on the posts, i will learn something from it, no matter how big or small the lesson is.
Life is short, it taught us not to procrastinate. We should learn to treasure each day and make the best out of it. Being a blogger allows me to look at the days that are gone, and if i get to see a meaningful post, i would know that i did not let this day go to waste. However, should i actually find an "empty" post, or perhaps no posts at all, i know that it was a bad day. Something must had went wrong and i must correct it, so that i won't get to see a similar post again.
Still, when i checked back on my posts, i can see my purpose of starting this blog is not fulfilled yet. I once told myself (and blogged about it i think) that i'm heading towards the wrong direction. This holiday period, i promised myself, is to be a turning point so that i can get on the right track again. Just like the sunrise (which we were supposed to see during AB Camp), it signals a new start, the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
Yet it did not happen. More than 2 weeks have passed already and i'm still the same old person. Just looking at my studies workload indicates how true this is already. I feel so helpless that i can't help myself, its such a terrible feeling.
Nevermind, though time is not on my side now, i still have time! I will make full use of it to do what i wanted and aimed for. And i know God is there to guide me through. So let's pick up ourselves and move on!
An ostrich only knows how to hide its head in the sand or run away when faced with danger.
I shall begin mugging =D
It happened a long time ago. I knew about it, yet i chose to pretend to be ignorant. I decided not to think about it and leave it alone. I don't want to face it, for fear that it will lead to something disastrous, and i don't wish the whole thing to repeat again. In other words, i chose to run away from the problem.
Then i can feel that its getting serious. Maybe i pondered too much, but sometimes it seems that God is telling me to do something about it. I started to worry, yet at the same time i don't dare to face the problem. I'm scared something bad will happen to both sides. In the end, i chose to ignore it, again.
The final straw came. I could no longer leave it as it is. I HAVE to do something. It may be too late, or may not even be necessary at all, but i can feel God shouting out to me in the drizzle.
"Perhaps i've been thinking too much", thats what i had been telling myself. But still, i know that losing my pride is better than letting it get worse.
So i did it. Better late than never. If its true that i've been thinking too much, then take it as i'm feeling more confused and stressed than ever. But if what i thought about is for real, it may be an insignificant gesture to you, given all the unpleasantness and possibly pain, but i hope that you will understand that i sincerely felt that way.
I'm sorry.
6/10/08
I feel so dead, so lifeless. Each day i wake up, only to think about what's gonna happen the next moment. I worry, i rejoice, i dread. Different emotions, one purpose: to carry out what i've thought about and scheduled. Life becomes like a calender, happenings in my life are so much like the dates on it: mundane and ordinary. Thank God for the holidays though, they spice up my life. However, i live each day hoping to end it quick, to strike this day off the calender so that i may go into the next day, no matter how much i seek to treasure and make the best out of each day. Life's rapid pace sometimes really make me breathless and tired.
God gave me emotions and feelings, yet i can't face them truthfully. I can give the excuse that school work draining all my energy and i have neither time nor strength to look the true me. But no. I won't lie to myself this round. Truth is, i have no courage to face up to them, and i chose to run away from them. Its so much more easier to wear a mask and pretend nothing is happening. Many words i wanted to say just won't come out from my heart. Like an anchor, they just want to stay deep inside me. As much as i want to let them out, i just can't find the courage to remove that mask, even if its for just a moment.
Sorry kerliang, if you're reading this.
6/8/08
Ok i'm being very serious now. YOU CAN'T MISS THIS MOVIE =D.
Haven't had such a good laugh in a long time already. You can expect yourself to laugh until your mouth turns numb and you can't laugh anymore. Don't catch the movie when you just had your dinner though. There's no gurantee you won't laugh ur food out. The plot is pretty simple, but all the humourous bits here and there ensure that your money won't go down the drain.
It may be a simple story, but it is also an inspiring tale. It taught the audience not to give up easily even though all the odds are against you. Everybody is born different, but that is no excuse we should give up our dreams and aspirations just because we are not suited to take on the journey we desired.
In face of adversity, you may find it an easier choice to give up and run away from problems. But you should have the courage to face it bravely and come out with innovative solutions to solve it, when conventional methods don't work. Have faith in yourself and trust that you can overcome all obstacles: There is no secret recipe to doing it!
Highly recommended for students who are stressed out with their mugging. I assure you that you will have an enjoyable 1.5hrs =)
6/7/08
RANT!
1 month of holidays is nothing but an illusion. Its so packed with school stuff for me already, and i can't find much time for my own stuff also. RAHHH i feel so dead -_-
PW: Interviews, surveys and trial runs soon
SL: Occupies SO much of my time doing all the publicity stuff
Council: At least it did not take up so much of my time
Studies: Intensive mugging very soon
Lets just pray that each day will turn out right.
6/5/08
In physics, you learn about Newton's Third Law. It states that for every action this is an equal and opposite reaction.
In chemistry, you learn that in every reaction, products are produced solely from the reactants. There can be no other products which are from non-reactants.
In math, you learn that an integer, multiplied by its reciprocal, gives you a whole (1).
The existence of reciprocals is everywhere, you see it everywhere in your life. Whatever you give, you can be sure that something will be returned to you. Some says its reaping what you sowed. Some says its karma. I say its God.
God's ways are that whatever you do, God sees it all and will reward/punish you based on what you did. He assures us that we will get something, whether do you like it or not. Its meant to make everything complete and whole, perfect in His eyes. Therefore do take note of your ways, because they are your reactants which will determine your products.
Yes, i did not give you what you seek. Now that you have taken something precious away from me, i have no choice but to accept it all. Rest assured, that i will not attempt to take it back, and i will leave it to you to take all that you want.
God says: It's not time yet.
6/2/08
Well, haven't been updating much on this little bloggy. Partly because i feel so dead nowadays. Seems like i'm back to the robotic days before this term break even began. Not that i became another lifeless mugger anyway, but when i tried reflecting on recent events and even the past, i just don't feel anything.
Perhaps when you try hard to look as far as possible, you would actually miss what's right in front of you. Challenges to take on, obstacles to overcome, and of course things to treasure. That's when you know its best to leave everything to God.
Bon voyage! (ok thats random)
6/1/08
Some things don't have to be put into words. You don't have to say it out, write it out or whatever. Some things are meant to be felt, to be experienced and to be understood. You don't need big words or make everything clear to convey your feelings and thoughts. Rather, sometimes simple words are already sufficient. Its only a matter of whether do the others catch it or not.
This short post shall be a good example.
